Trail Mix :: No. 12

Why I'm Grouchy, A Poem You Might Need, Do You Have Mother Hunger, Solving Problems with Play, & More!

(my youngest performs in her first ballet recital this weekend)

Hello Friend!

As always welcome to the Trail Mix Weekly-ish Letters for us curious and ambitious folks. Below you’ll find a colorful assortment of goodness to keep you fueled and inspired for all your various adventures- my top 5 favorite reads, listens, resources, & other interesting tidbits, plus an exclusive peek into my personal journey each week.

Rummage through the words and resources below and snag only the pieces you find the tastiest.

First up, some words from me to you.

Do You Do This Too?

I’ve been thinking alot about my life lately- looking deeply at who I am becoming, what I’m doing, and how I want to spend my days.

I’ve been listening to podcasts about sensitive topics (for me), reading meaty books, digging into my own soul, and dusting out the cobwebs and facing my shadows with as much kindness as I can muster (which isn’t alot).

Rarely, do I like what I discover.

Perhaps it’s because whenever I am in these introspective moods I’m usually on the lookout for

all the things I’m not doing right,

all the things I want to change about myself,

all the things I don’t wany anyone to know about,

all the things causing me frustration or sadness or shame.

In general I turn into an unfriendly cop. My only aim is to hand out as many tickets as possible. I’m laser focused on my problematic issues and where I’m struggling.

Inevitably I end up feeling miserable. I’ll turn into a grouch with my family and kick myself for not having it together by now. Then, I’ll be overwhelmed by all there is to improve and fix and plan.

Thank goodness, I’m realizing there are alternative ways to do deep thinking, soul-searching kind of work. It doesn’t have to feel heavy and depressing. There’s no need to wrestle or fight ourselves.

So, next time you and I muster the courage to take a long, hard look at ourseslves I hope we come at it from this angle instead.

-reflect on the different areas of you life without carrying an ounce of judgement.

-respond with wonder about yourself instead of worrying.

-refuse to force yourself into transformation or overanalyze every microscopic situation to the nth degree.

-remember everything you are doing well.

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Now, onto more random Trail Mix goodies for your adventures!

1. If you’re feeling stuck.

Are you familiar with the lovely Ingrid Fetell Lee. She runs Aesthetics of Joy and wrote a book entitled, Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things To Create Extraordinary Happiness. Her recent post about using play to solve problems was a much needed reminder for me.

“Play takes us outside the problem, focusing our attention on possibilities rather than constraints.”

2. An incredible poem for the parts of you feeling winter-ish right now.

The poem is called Wintering by James Pearson and although we are fast approaching summer here in the Northern Hemisphere, my soul couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. It’s okay if some of me still looks like a bleak and desolate landscape too.

“The time will come
when you, too, have to drop
all the ways you’ve made yourself worth loving,
and finally learn how
to sit quietly
right in the center
of your own small life.”

3. An audible book for your car rides or laundry folding.

It’s called Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s Quest to Discover The Mysteries of the Brain and The Secrets of The Heart by James R. Doty, MD.

I listened to the introduction and then couldn’t stop. I’m nearly half way in and still being pulled along in the story.

4. What Platform Is Really About.

Dan Blank is someone I found a year or so ago in the writing world. He says this about himself: I help writers create meaningful connections with readers. I’m attracted to his simple and straightforward approach to writing, marketing, and creativity.

I’ve appreciated his short and practical weekly podcast episodes and newsletter for writers for awhile now. His most recent episode reignited my excitement for not only sharing, but gushing about the stories, projects, and lives of all the remarkable humans I come into contact with all the time.

The episode is called Generosity Should Be Your Platform.

5. Might we all have some mother hunger inside us…what do you think?

Laura McKowen interviews Kelly McDaniel, a trauma therapist who thinks Mother Hunger is at the root of many of our harmful behaviors and unhelpful patterns. As a mother myself now, I couldn’t help but feel so guilty for the ways I fall short with my own kids. I know they will grow up with Mother Hunger. I think we all do.

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Thank you for snacking with me on this week’s Trail Mix and if you found something delicious here to nourish your many adventures, please tell me about in the comments!

This weekend may you experience life by strapping on your running shoes and hitting the road or trail. Making pancakes. Lighting a candle and waking early. Catching the sunset.

Traveling with you,

Charissa

PS: I’d love to hear what it is you feel like you need permission to do. You can read my post about it here.