I Dare You To Ask For Attention
Some simple ways to start to see people & a poet for your winding spiritual path.
Hi! How’s your week going? It’s Wednesday, it’s wet, and I’m about to enter the elements to drop my oldest girl at her bouldering team practice. I don’t ever regret biking in the rain. It wakes me up to life, invigorates and inspires my soul, and lets my mind wander.
Read on for:
a simple antidote for our solitary journey,
some ways to see people,
and a powerful poem to reframe your perspective on God/Divine/Creator!
Let’s get into it…
I left a Google business review for a dear friend this week and it got me thinking…why don’t we do this more often for each other?
Why don’t we stop and tell people how much we appreciate them? (Too busy, rushed, distracted, lack of curiosity, etc.)
Can you imagine a life where you constantly receive the equivalent of 5-star reviews- reminders you are seen and valued and your work is needed in the world?
Living is a lonely task. I don’t care how many friends you have, at the end of the day, no one can ever experience exactly what you are going through. We feel invisible.
Most cures for the intrinsic loneliness we all sense, but keep a secret, have something to do with connection to others. A simple way to emphasize and cultivate our sacred kinship with each other is through attention.
At first, this word might conjure up images of immature, obnoxious behavior. The way someone might fish for compliments, create artificial drama, play the victim, constantly post about personal issues, or act out in loud or disruptive ways.
We’re all guilty.
I’m not sure we ever grow up and out of our need for attention. Whether we’re 3 or 63 we don’t want to disappear, we want to make a splash in this crowded pool of people.
I’d go so far as to say, that our desire to be known, recognized, and validated is the undercurrent flowing beneath everything we do.
We send flares into the universe hoping for someone to acknowledge our existence, turn their head, glance in our direction, and give us affirmation.
We want people to make eye contact with us, send us a sweet message, buy our artwork, congratulate our achievements, engage us in conversation, and listen to our story without judgment.
Do you sense your need for attention? Instead of feeling ashamed of it, what if you surrender to it? Sit with your intense longing to be seen for a few minutes right now.
It’s an innocent desire, yet it makes us cringe.
The same friend I mentioned above sent me a text with her request- “Any chance you could leave me a review, I’d love it!” And guess what? I went and did it right away.
I dare you to take the same action she did, but not for your business, for yourself!
How might you ask for validation today, do you need recognition of your creative work in the world, where could you use a boost in motivation or confirmation of your abilities?
ASK.
Obviously, approval from others cannot be our only source of inspiration, but it can sustain and nourish us if we aren’t afraid to seek it out in wholesome ways. We need to collect endorsements (in their many forms) from our fellow humans, not to add to our fancy resume, but for strength to face reality.
Once we understand the power of 5-star reviews in our own lives, we are better equipped to give others the attention they also need. We look for opportunities to boost a friend (or stranger’s) spirits and immunize our society against loneliness and isolation.
The elixir of connection is in your eyes…see the people in your life. Then, readily validate their work, their contribution, their creative ingenuity, and their humanity.
Don’t deny or delay yourself or another person the antidote we’re all searching for along our often solitary journeys.
Now read on for what you could do next…
Keeping these prompts focused on our in-the-flesh life, who might your path cross with next? Have it in the back of your mind…I want to see people.
Be curious about…the next person you meet.
Come with questions, encouragement, or admiration. Don’t move like a robot through your day, gliding to and fro like a humming machine from one activity and task to the next. Make it a point to slow your roll, allow for some margin, and make it your mission to, at the very least, notice the face of the next person in front of you.
Then, you could:
start up a conversation about the weather,
ask them a question and see where it leads,
give them a simple compliment,
smile, or
listen deeply.
This is how we travel together and move the world forward in love.
Meet my friend and poet, Gideon Heugh! He is, as you’ll see, well-acquainted with the wandering way. I met Gideon a few years ago when I was learning to trust the compass of my own heart as it led me outside the confines of Christianity, and into more expansive places. His poetry became a reassuring light in the newfound mystery, offering me language, perspective, and solidarity.
If you’re experiencing some unraveling in your faith or looking for a more messy, inclusive view of the divine, you aren’t alone. Gideon and his words are the company you need:
The name of the Lord is not a strong tower. We’ve had enough, quite enough of the high and mighty, quite enough of the righteous hiding behind their stone doors. If you really want to know the name of God, look for it outside— you’ll find it lagging behind with the rest of us broken ones, confused as hell, putting an arm around a shoulder and saying, ‘Yes. I know. Me as well.’
Be sure to subscribe to Gideon’s Subtack, The Green Chapel, then read his latest post about the depth and nuance of this poem. The post is titled, “Rewriting God: the poet as an interpreter of scripture” and here’s a little sample,
Humanity is not the centre of the universe; and the Bible is not the centre of humanity. The Bible is revelatory—uniquely revelatory, even—but exclusively revelatory? Such a view would ignore most of the human race, its history, and its other beautiful and revelatory religious (and non-religious) traditions.
And, furthermore, it would ignore most of God. God is More-Than-Biblical.
Good, right!?
You can follow along with Gideon’s work on Instagram too!
Thank you for reading! May the rest of your week be filled with many delightful surprises and fun distractions!
