Give Into The Loneliness {& What Happens When We Do}
Maybe it's time for an experiment & the best quote from Liz Gilbert.
Hello and I’m so glad you’ve found you’re way here. If you feel like life is a bit of wander more than a straight path to success, welcome. This is a place where we fall in love with the meandering and monotonous rhythms of our lives. We’re attempting to relax a little more and rush a little less throughout our days because being in a hurry wreaks havoc on our health, humanity, and our heart-to-heart connection with one another and the planet.
Wherever you find yourself today, may this letter come at just the right time and remind you of this very important truth: you are not alone.
I tried not to give into loneliness this past weekend.
If you’ve read any of my previous posts on My Journal or Instagram, you know I share openly from the middle moments, giving you a glimpse into the topsy-turvy parts as I experience them. Like any good journalist, I want to show up and have a front-row seat to the action. I want to be here, in this season or circumstance, while the storms are brewing and blowing all around me.
I understand this kind of honesty might come across as too vulnerable to some (and that’s okay). I write for those of us who crave the raw, real stories that aren’t always filtered or fixed up to fit neatly into chapters of a book.
Back to the weekend, I knew I needed to get out for some fresh air, away from a complicated, weird situation. So I took a long bike ride and a walk by myself. The sadness crept in as I pedaled down the familiar path toward the waterfront. My mind reeling with anxiety-inducing questions about my future and my darling, innocent kids and the decisions I need to make.
I thought about turning around and heading back home. I thought about how much they needed me and how bad I felt for hopping on my bike without inviting anyone along.
Yet, I knew I needed to practice being with myself.
The further I biked, the more I began to sense what was happening inside me. I was remembering how to be with myself. For years, I’ve self-diagnosed one of my core underlying issues is a lack of confidence.
It stems from decades of putting myself last, drifting into the background, and carrying the emotional load while spouse and children watch me swirl around like a fairy.
But the confidence I’ve always desired doesn’t come from serving, it comes from learning to care for myself, tend to my deepest needs, and stay in tune with my body.
No matter what my future holds, I realized this weekend I need to build my confidence daily. I cannot afford to treat myself like a side dish any longer. I cannot let my body deteriorate, my heart shrivel, and my dreams sit on the back burner while everyone else takes meaningful risks, and intentional actions, and strives to live out their adventure.
Over the weekend, while I spent time alone, I heard a mean voice trying to tell me to lay down, step aside…nobody wants you.
But loneliness isn’t the monster I make it out to be. Loneliness is alluring, an invitation to wrap ourselves with love and speak kindly to the parts of us that feel rejected and insignificant.
Loneliness is the nudge we need to step out the front door and take ourselves on a long date.
Try it. I promise it will turn out better than you expected.
Now onto this week's prompt to keep us engaged with our fascinating in-the-flesh life, instead of staying in our heads or consumed with the headlines.
Be curious about…you’re intuitive nature.
I’ve been doing a terrible job at following my intuition, but I’m starting to make more of an effort.
I know the only way to become more intuitive is to practice listening and taking action. Then repeat forever.
A couple of weeks ago I started an Experiment. I wanted to test out a change I know I’ve needed to make, but have been too in routine to do anything about it.
So I declared Experiment Time and stopped ignoring my inner guide. I’ve been giving my intuitive side more time in the spotlight (at least in a specific area) and watching how my overall well-being shifts as I follow the gentle voice inside my head.
It’s a voice nudging me toward peace, abundance, and possibility and so far, I’m hooked!
Is there something you are feeling led to try, an idea you want to act on, a personal change it’s time to make? Set up an experiment, test it out, see how it goes, have some fun with it!
Remember: it’s an experiment, so the pressure is off, don’t focus on the outcome.
This week I want to direct you to the voice of the lovely Liz Gilbert. I feel like my whole body heals when I listen to her. She is one of the best guides I know on all things purpose, creativity, and self-compassion.
I heard her say this recently on a podcast,
“I don’t think there’s anyway you can live a relaxed or really truly meaningful life if you’re constantly thinking about your fucking legacy. That’s it. How much did I make, how much did I leave, how much did I impact. Meanwhile, the world is happening and you’re in it and you’re missing it.”
from The Tim Ferris Show, ep. 770: Elizabeth Gilbert- How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice
Give this full episode a listen- it will change your whole day, I promise.
Well, wanderers, let’s take the wisdom of Liz Gilbert and try to take a deep breath and relax. You are going to be okay even if everything feels like a shitshow right now.
As always leave a comment and tell me which part of this letter felt like it was written straight to you…
Thank you for reading!
