Trail Mix :: No. 19
The Best Advice I Heard All Week, 5 Activities I Do Everyday, Humpbacks vs. Killer Whales, An Update From Me, & More!
The Best Advice I Heard All Week.
So, I’m going to talk about it. My mother-in-law is visiting.
Everything she does drives me crazy. And I’m sure she would say the same about me. Knowing these two facts alone, you can probably guess how my week’s been going.
You guys, I’m barely surviving. I’m hanging on by a dangerously thin thread. My whole body in full-on flight or fight mode.
I cannot fully explain why we clash so badly- our dreadful history, our differing views, personalities, and cultures?
But she lives halfway across the world and we only see each other once a year for a couple of weeks for pete’s sake.
Sure, we smile and exchange pleasantries on Day 1. But you guys, by Day 3 I’m already downloading a countdown app on my phone and titling it, “You made it.”
Days, weeks, months before she arrives I prepare myself…
I feel anxious and sweaty as usual, but I also envision the 2 weeks of sharing space with her to be enjoyable and relaxing. I’m quietly going about my business and allowing her unencumbered time with the kids, keeping my opinions, thoughts, and comments to myself.
Well, here I am. One week left. I’m frantically hoping there’s an AirBnb within walking distance for her or I to escape to.
I have to stay. I have to receive these two weeks for what they are. Dreadful.
I’m tip-toeing around my own house and children and trying not to berate myself for needing space from her and my husband.
Yes, I know this is a less than ideal situation. I could probably do better, try harder, couldn’t I?
It reeks of unforgiveness, although we’ve made our attempts, and this whole thing is probably cause for concern. I share it though, without shame, because I know you probably have or have had at least one extremely trauma-inducing, triggering relationship in your life.
There’s no easy answers, books, google searches, or amount of therapy sessions that can bring two people together in perfect harmony.
Knowing my circumstances, my mentor-friend-wilderness guide, Brie, looked me in the eyes and said a phrase I’ve held onto during every fraught interaction with my MIL this week, “You have complete permission to fall apart.”
Really?! Yes, REALLY.
You might need this sentence too. Please, take it for yourself because I’m here to say it works wonders.
Wherever you sense disconnection within you or with others in your life, when you’ve tried unsuccessfully to repair and mend what feels broken-
maybe the (unorthodox) antidote to the disarray is to totally unravel and bust into a million pieces.
And then to stop trying to pick them up.
Let the pieces fall to the ground. Let yourself crumble in the chaos, stay right there, and through the process discover…
wholeness is not a matter of reaching a state of perfection in this life or with each other, rather it’s the pursuit of loving yourself through the lousy, unglamorous, awful times.
Please know this, I’m so with you in this uncomfortable-ness of being human.
Okay, now onto the more sweet and simple bites of this Trail Mix letter!
I’ve found Mel’s wisdom to be straight and to the point, not too flowery, but still so magical. If you’ve been hearing alot about manifesting and are curious about what it could look like in your life, give this episode a listen. It’s a grittier approach to manifestation, one I appreciate, a reality check for how it all actually works.
“Thoughts become things. I don’t think so. You have to visualize all the painful, horrible, tedious, challenging things that you need to do day in and day out that’s going to help you make progress every single day…”
2. Got Zucchini?
On a cool day last week, I had the courage to heat up the oven and quickly whip up a batch of this delicious zucchini bread. I like the fact you don’t have to squeeze out the zucchini and you can mix it all up in one bowl!
Ultimate Zucchini Bread from The Smitten Kitchen
3. We listened to this twice in one day.
My 9-year-old son and I were absolutely captivated by all 37 minutes of this episode from Radiolab about a story that begins when “biologists saw a group of humpback whales trying to stop some killer whales from eating… a seal.”
4. My recipe for a good day.
Here are 5 super basic activities I always do in a day. They are my secret to staying sane, energized, and excited about life!
Exercise and move my body!
Read books and thought-provoking articles.
Write. Even if its only a few notes about a longer form essay I have in mind
Enjoy the outdoors no matter the weather!
Talk to people I don’t know. I’m always striking up a conversation with strangers. I wrote a few paragraphs about my experiences here.
5. Did you hear the news?
I became a licensed realtor with John L. Scott Bellingham! A locally-loved and dynamic team here in the PNW. I didn’t even think about working alongside anyone else.
It might seem like a total pivot career-wise, COMPLETELY different than who I am and what I do as a writer, mother, artist, runner, and someone committed to living a more simple, less stuff kind of life. But actually, it’s a natural extension of my passions, another way to offer my creative gifts to the world.
If you don’t know about my city, allow me to introduce you to Bellingham!
Bellingham is a secret gem, an invitation to adventure, a cozy nook away from the crazy.
And as a way to pass on my love for this pocket of the PNW I decided to become a realtor- I’m calling myself the broker on a bike. My preferred way to travel now that we’re in town! (Some realtors rock up in their Mercedes, and I drive my grandma’s old bike!)
I'm wholeheartedly committed to
-being human + relatable
-authentic and transparent
-joyfully guiding you and your family towards your dreams!
You can follow along with me @adventure.realestate or you can subscribe to my new monthly Substack letter, Fall In Love With Bellingham, where I share hidden gems, gorgeous views, neighbor interviews, and easy-to-read housing market insights for us normal people! The first free download I created is Trails & Treats: 10 Tiny Adventures in Whatcom County.
Well, that does it for this weekly-ish edition of Trail Mix Letters. Wherever you find yourself this Saturday, whatever kind of adventures you’re embarking on these days, I hope my words here bring a smidgen of nourishment to your soul and put a little energy into your bones.
Traveling with you,
PS: Because what’s a letter without a PS:) If you need a pep talk, if you feel like you’ve got alot going on behind your stretched out smile, I wrote a few words for us over here this week.