A Big Question I'm Holding Right Now
How to stay anchored in seasons of uncertainty, and learn from the expert of question-asking!
Welcome Wanderers!
If you’re new here, this is where we cultivate whimsy, wonder, and adventure for life! It’s a little haven on the winding path, a place for you to sit with your questions, fuel your curiosity, and travel together with others who relish in the mystery.
In today’s letter, you’ll discover…
a BIG question I’m holding right now,
what places and traditions keep you anchored in seasons of heartache or uncertainty,
and learn from (and listen to!) the expert of question-asking!
I’ll go first…
I just spent the last 30 minutes scrolling through Airbnb homes in my favorite summer vacation spot, Cannon Beach, with a heavy heart. If we want to stay there in July or August we must make reservations now.
But here’s the thing- I don’t know what life will look like next summer, specifically my marriage.
When I look into the future all I see are big, ominous question marks— will we be together or not? The uncertainty is the reason we haven’t booked our favorite place yet.
I want to cling to my fragile marriage until summer 2025 so we can experience Cannon Beach as a family at least one more time. The cherished memories keep me lingering in my shaky relationship. All I need to do is conjure up images of barefoot beach walks, picnics in the sand, watching the kids body board and splash in the Pacific Ocean, finding shells and hermit crabs, morning strolls at low tide to look for sand dollars, and endless hours on the beach- reading and playing- and suddenly, staying in limbo feels almost bearable.
I cannot imagine letting this special time with my sweet kiddos dissolve. Surely, I would grieve these good days forever and never recover from the heartache.
It’s this one happy glimmering, sand-filled week in summer each year that makes me cling to what’s always been. If I decide to leave my marriage, my favorite place on earth will be tainted, I think. Would I ever be able to return?
To admit that I’m hanging onto our threadbare marriage because I love this place so much feels silly, but it’s true. Cannon Beach brings out the best version of our family because the resentment and bitterness are swept out to sea, at least for the week. Life is simpler. Our days center around the tide schedule, finding the best spot on the beach to read books, walks to the tidepools, and playing in the sand.
I wish I had some clarity, but there are still no plans- for summer or our relationship. While wandering in this mystery, I anchor myself to places like Cannon Beach where joy, connection, and beauty are abundant no matter how turbulent life feels.
{Big deep breath.}
Life refuses to be pinned down, it pushes, spins, and lurches forward at unpredictable speeds, plunging us into courage and curiosity. Amid the chaos, places and traditions can center us when clarity is impossible to come by and the tides are constantly shifting.
What are the “cannon beaches” of your life? If they’re not accessible to you in this moment, how could you re-create the experience right where you are?
Be curious about… a tiny tradition or place where you feel safe.
What sensations do you associate with this tradition or place? List all the magical and healing sights, smells, sounds, and tastes you experience there.
There’s no one better to guide us through the questions than the one and only Krista Tippett. I was first introduced to Krista through her On Being Project and Podcast. To say the conversations there have transformed me would be an understatement. Krista is a phenomenal host and every episode is my favorite!
If you want to listen in, here are a few to start with:
Krista was also interviewed on The One You Feed podcast back in 2022. When it comes to wandering with our questions she is an expert,
“All of the great challenges before us are just vast, aching, open questions that are not going to have answers anytime soon.”
“If all I have to work with is uncertainty, then I really turn to this work of crafting a better question. A question that can keep me company, a question that can point me to what I need to be seeing, or moving towards, or moving away from. And I have had this experience over and over again- if I hold a question, if I live a question, if I’m faithful to it, it will be a guide.”
-The One You Feed | How to Live the Questions of Life | April 19 2022 | 58 min
Thank you for being here! Drop me a note- I’m so curious to hear how you are doing and what questions are filling up your heart?
If you haven’t seen, every Sunday I share a Podcast Potion, my favorite 7 episodes from the week…be sure to check it out!
Traveling with you,
